Top 10 ways the U.S. Secret Service will get their revenge on the Salahis

To think that the toughest security detail in the world can get fooled by a pair of smiling wannabees, using the oldest trick in the book: look as though you know what you are doing.

According to The New York Times, the Salahi party-crashing incident has uncovered a simple fact. At least one White House door was practically unlocked, with no one even checking purses for weapons:

Meanwhile, several invited guests who had entered the White House through the same entrance as the Salahis said the Secret Service’s normal security check-in process, familiar to many of them, had been haphazard.

They said Secret Service guards had not directed the visitors through the guardhouse with its metal detector and X-ray screeners, located just inside the east entrance. Instead, after guards glanced at ID cards in the dark, they waited in a chilly mist outside the East Wing portico. Then they were funneled to a portable metal detector but no X-ray scanner for checking other belongings.

The U.S. Marshalls pay experts to try to sneak weapons and contraband through airport security checks. Rather than charge the Salahis, the Secret Service Director should thank them for pointing out what a crappy job they did that night. Lesson learned, without the pain of the teaching that came from John Hinckley Jr. or Lee Harvey Oswald.

Nevertheless, here are the Top 10 ways the Secret Service will get their revenge for being embarrased by these polo-playing folks from Virginia:

10. Bravo network will be promised an exclusive interview with President Obama as long as they don’t choose the Salahi’s for the cast of their upcoming series “The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C.”

9. The CIA will recruit Mrs. Salahi’s pilates instructor for their own on-campus gym.

8. Virginia DMV will leak Mrs. Salahi’s original drivers’ licence photo, before she got the nose job.

7. The FBI Academy in Virgina will use the Salahi’s neighbourhood to practice nighttime helicopter hostage rescue drills.

6. Ms. Salahi will be charged by the Internal Revenue Service for not declaring her “comped” 8 hour salon visit as a taxable benefit.

5. Virginia State Troopers will set up roadside impaired driving checks at the end of the Salahis’ street for the upcoming Christmas party.

4. Their names have been pulled from the short list for an upcoming State Dinner honouring the King of the Federated States of Micronesia.

3. Memberships will be revoked at The Congressional Golf Club, among others.

2. The Salahis will now be banned from entering government buildings, which means no guest appearances on Law & Order.

1. The Salahis will be red flagged at every airport and border-crossing for the rest of their lives.

MRM